ttyprintk 15 hours ago |

A 99-year lease could bring life-changing wealth to Denmark, as long as they’re careful in this new era of transaction and manipulation:

- focus your marketing budget on the Miss Greenland beauty pageant. I’d recommend that the parts in Greenlandic mention Obama frequently, but not the parts in English.

- validate Trump’s rhetoric about illegal immigration. Loudly declare that Denmark is NOT responsible for the invasion of immigrants to attractive and innocent Greenland, what the media doesn’t want to talk about. Only a big, powerful leader could fix it.

- exploit the distortion of its size on maps. So big that it’s hurricane-proof. Four time zones!

- Denmark’s potential hardship needs to be on full display: we had plans to put our Guantanamo there. All our dog sled reality TV is filmed there.